Published on March 4th, 2014 | by Tony0
Review: South Park – The Stick Of Truth
I write this intro for South Park: The Stick of Truth after putting around 5 hours of gaming into it over the last couple of days, but thought it was best to get this up and ready for when I start to type the full review. You see I’ve seen a lot in gaming over the years, but today was another rare occasion when a game stunned me into silence.
The part of South Park I am talking about was and is a part of the game we will never see, as before the game was released Ubisoft thought it was best us European guys did not get to witness it in its full glory. While the scene now has a fancy bit of music and a warning message going over the top of it, I did find myself chuckling at it to begin with, but then it kind of turned into a “Really? This is in a game?” moment.
In this scene we see your character and Randy (The father of Stan) get anally probed by aliens, but with the game being South Park you can expect it to go to the extreme.
When the scene cuts back into play after the above screen I saw my character bent over a chair while watching this probe disappear into his ass crack, while all the time a giant black dildo was just hanging in the picture. Now for me having to explain to my loving wife who walked into the room when all this was taking place, I think it is fair to say it was a bit of a tricky situation.
Not very often do you say to your wife, “You see that guy in the chair? That is me. I’ve just been abducted by aliens who could not probe my ass with a white dildo so pulled out a much bigger black one to get the job done.”
Welcome to the South Park review boys and girls, this one should be a doosy!
Today will not only set a record for some of the craziest sh** I will ever have to type about in my lifetime, but surprising for some it also breaks a mould in gaming history.
You see us gamers tend to smell a rubbish easy cash-in TV tie-in game a mile off when we see it, and South Park was bound to fall into that category.
With stuff recently like Family Guy getting the same gaming treatment, it would not surprise me if many thought that The Stick of Truth would go down the same line and be a huge pile of cow dung, but turns out it isn’t (enter shocked face here).
The game begins with you playing a new guy who’s just moved into a street in South Park and while being told by his parents to get out and make friends, he bumps into some familiar faces.
The likes of Cartman, Stan, Kyle and Kenny are soon in your face and bring the humour of the TV show into a game the likes of which you will have never played before.
Before you know it, you’re part of a clan who reside in a place known as the Kingdom of Kupa Keep (KKK for short) with your quest being to defend the Stick of Truth and the quest of protecting or finding it for the rest of the game begins.
The game will take a few detours away from the what we shall call the “Stick” storyline here and there, but that is something to enjoy for yourself rather than my fat fingers ruining your enjoyment.
The thing that will blow you away in this game is what they get away with showing, as I’ve gotta be honest I’ve never been shocked before but it did that to me at times.
Without wanting to ruin it for you, the game had me doing such quests as beating up a paedophile and going deep into a gay man’s anus, but that is just the tip of the iceberg boys and girls.
You see, chances are if you’re one of those guys or girls that are easily offended and don’t understand South Park for what it is, then the whole game will kind of go over your head.
I was a fan of the show when I was younger, but the gags in the TV show after a while did start to become something I didn’t find funny anymore. The Stick of Truth though has brought out this immature and laugh out loud guy I once was back when I would watch the show, and to be honest with you I’m glad it did.
Combat and Collectables:
The combat in The Stick of Truth is a turn based combat system, which for me is normally a huge turn off but SOT does it in such a fun way that I did enjoy it.
You get the choice at the start of the game to either be a Fighter, Mage, Thief or Jew. In my playthrough I went with Fighter so I can only speak from that standpoint.
The combat is, as I said, turn-based with you picking from a bunch of set moves from the following:
Long distance weapons, which on my travels meant things like darts and flaming arrows being used, all of which can have powers added to them with weapon strap-ons that you will come across as you play through the game.
Melee weapons, including things such as swords and bats, but with unique weapons too like Timmy’s Crutch and things like that to be found and used. Just like above, these can have powers added to them with strap-ons.
Then you have your special power with the ones available to me being: kicks to the nuts, a baseball bat and ball swing combo, a running headbutt, and the most powerful one being a super jump.
All of these special powers need PP, which you can get by using a bottle of drink from your items.
A bit further into the game you also unlock the buddy system, which sees not just you going into a battle alone but one of the unlocked characters you get as you go through the campaign will be by your side.
You will of course have your favourites as you play, but for me the likes of Butters and his Professor Chaos power, Cartman’s swear fill rampage and Kenny’s unicorn all hold a special place in my heart.
The game combat also had a fart option for me, but being honest it was only used the closer I got to the end of the game when I found out just how powerful it was.
So don’t do what I did and be sure to use your farts earlier in the game.
On to collectables and other things away from the story. You have side quests to look forward to featuring the likes of Al Gore on the hunt for ManBearPig (don’t ask), to things of a collectible nature.
Everything from the likes of underpants right up to Pokemon style toys known as Chinpokomon are on offer, all of which link in with the show.
This being said, side quests can be a bit hit and miss as while some are a real fun side thing to do. others can be over within seconds and seem pretty pointless.
Looks and Sound:
When The Stick of Truth was teased around the internet we all kind of expected it to look a bit shitty when we got our hands on it, but turns out shitty can look good when it wants to.
You can walk around this set of South Park that features almost everything you can think of from the show, and it does look very nice and is a pleasure to explore.
The sound of the game also adds something extra to it all, as you can walk into stores and if you listen hard enough you can listen to classic songs like the one above, which instantly gives you that grin on your face.
The overall look and sound of the game is better than I could have expected, and is something that Matt, Trey and Obsidian Entertainment can be proud of with what they have achieved.
South Park was a barrel of laughs to play through and I enjoyed the whole 30+ hours (Raptr stats) I’ve spent with it.
Yes the content will not be to everybody’s taste but for those knowing what to expect when going in, The Stick of Truth breaks that mould of TV/movie games gone bad.
I did have a couple of faults in the game, but nothing that major that it would mean docking points from the review, but they do need to be shared.
On one mission where something needed to be taken back to someone after finishing a mission, the game decided I never had the item.
This meant having to use a previous save from an hour before to go back and do the mission again, which was a bit of a pain. Also when I got to visit the Zelda like world of Canada, I did find the game would encounter lag now and again, but only a handful of times.
All of those problems mentioned are easily brushed away on the overall experience I had from the whole game.
There is tons of stuff I’ve not even mentioned in this review, like one of the special powers you can use with certain characters like Jesus or Mr. Slave whose finishing move is swallowing a man whole with the use of his ass.
This is on purpose, as seeing such things for yourself is something I would rather you witness than me ruining it for you like I kind of just did.
If you take anything away from this review, then please let it be this:
The combat is easy to pick up, the story is like watching a great episode of the show, and the game has special powers that feature a BLOODY UNICORN. How can you not love it?
Summary: Will not be to everyone's taste, but for those that never take things too serious and/or just want a cheap laugh, South Park: The Stick Of Truth ticks all the boxes. Never again will games be the same.