Published on September 2nd, 2013 | by Barry Burkett4
Blog: Weapon Of choice
Ok, so this is my first entry ever so you have to be nice. I’m told its a rule… Today I’m going to talk about the wonderful selection of hitty and shotty things that I have enjoyed in my time and also the classifications that I believe they fit into. But please don’t worry, this isn’t about firepower or range or any such but about annoyance value, uniqueness and fun.
I’m gonna stick to 3 classifications today to make it easy on you (me). They are, oh bugger I’ve already given it away… Uniqueness, fun and annoyance value.
Lets start with annoyance value…
First up is any sniper rifle in any game… ever. Whilst it’s fun to pop melons at 500 meters it’s always annoying to be that melon. Not an unusual thought I know but i’m drawing you in with things you already know. Next up is the winner missile from Mario Cart. Obviously a brilliant weapon to turn second place into first but generally used just to ruin that perfect race by that sad chap in last place (me!).
And then we have the ultimate “I’m losing so I’m ending this game with a big tantrum” weapon, which is Armageddon from Worm’s World Party. It only requires one go but almost guarantees that you won’t lose, or win but as no one else does then that’s perfect. In fairness I did set it off once and survive but I’m sure that’s the exception.
Next up is the fun choice…
This doesn’t take into account actual stopping power but the joy in it’s use. Many of my choices came from GTA but I settled on the splendid ‘beat a hotdog seller with a big pink dildo’ experience. Not very useful overall but I’m sure you’d get in trouble if you did it for real so let us enjoy the anarchy! And what about the plasma pistol from the Halo series, it’s never going to be the weapon of choice but do you remember the first time you took down a banshee with one charged shot, pure gold! Then you have dinosaurs. Yes DINOSAURS!!! But only when you ride them of course! Yoshi from Mario who was a fan of eating stuff and the beautiful selection from Golden Axe which could shoot fire or eat bananas (I’ve not done that much research yet!) who can hate a dinosaur? This also brings me onto the fire breath from Godzilla in any game you like to mention involving the mighty lizard (I’m thinking of Destroy all monsters on the Gamecube).
Well lets start with the power of positive thought…. Ok maybe not. Lets try the Machine Sprit from Dawn of War. The Land Raider is already bad ass but making it shiny with the Machine Spirit makes it all the more hardcore and I do Like a one man/car/thing army. But what about the Christ Air from Tony Hawks? I was a very average computer skateboarder but I can still do a 720 Christ Air, but still, looks impressive as you twirl around like a top before smashing your face into the concrete ramp!
There is also a list of other weapons that I made that I can’t fit into these 3 categories so I’m just gonna tack them on at the bottom.
We have the beautiful takedown from Burnout (a series which I will gush about at a later date), the radio control bombs from GTA, The Fireball from Street Fighter 2 HADOUKEN!!!! Every weapon from Star Wars, Lightsabers, Proton Torpedoes and Death Stars and BIG BLOODY ROBOTS. Lost Planet, Gears of War, Walker (Amiga 500 I love you) and such.
But If I had to pick one, just one weapon to bring to the fight it would have to be the Concrete Donkey. It is what it it says and bounces like concrete shouldn’t. How can you go wrong?