Published on February 13th, 2016 | by Scot Mackay0
The Return of the Burger King
Well hello ladies, gentlemen, Orcs and Sirens. It’s been a while since I lowered the tone of this fine website with my random inane nattering and I am sure you have all been crying in the streets and throwing hissy fits since I disappeared like a chubby ninja into the night but I am here to tell you all ……….. I’m back!!!
For the past year or so, my digital existence took a back seat to the insufferable greyness of the everyday humdrum of modern life. Like Bill Murray in Ground Hog Day, I was doomed to repeat the same day over and over and over again until the planets finally aligned to allow me back into the ever changing, vibrant, sometimes balls-to-the-wall mental world of videogames.
Now I know what you’re thinking. Has he still got it? Did he ever have it? And what do dwarves smell in a crowded elevator?
Let’s find out.
As I turn my Xbox One on for a reason other than watching Horrid Henry, I look at my games library and realise that I have no idea where to start. In a previous age, I would pick a game and stick with it until the end but I find myself fleeting between Fallout 4, Lego Marvel Super Heroes, Halo: Reach and GTA IV. I am trying to recall a time when I had such a selection of games to choose from ranging from the smallest arcade style game to the newest triple A title, and I am truly struggling to.
I scroll through my library and realise that I have become a sucker to the shiny sale sign neatly tied around the neck of seemingly every bit of content on Xbox Live. At one point I would have kept an eye out for the free Games for Gold selections and hope it was going to be a something that I wanted but no more!! Now when I look at the Xbox Live Store, all I see is price cuts here, bundle deals there and not to forget the fantastic benefits of EA Access and Xbox Live Rewards.
In the past I have raised the question of why are digital only games still so ridiculously expensive and not cheaper than their hardcopy counterparts? Nowadays I’m thinking that Xbox Live is slowly becoming a digital Aldi and am I now that annoying old lady at front of the checkout queue trying to buy her shopping with pennies, coupons and balled up cat hair.
Now, the only issue I have with all of these wonderful price cuts and ‘Saving of a lifetime’ opportunities is that, by clicking on that little purchase button is there is no direct feedback…. that is, until the end of the month when you scour over your credit card bill like a crazy-ass woman looking for lipstick marks on your man’s shirt collar. This is where the bat crap, monkey crap and Goldfrapp hits the fan.
Now as many of you fine people know. I class myself as a man’s man. I chew tobacco, adjust my nuts, ignore sound fashion advice and have a profound love of Chuck Norris but when you are in a relationship, the man is never in charge – ESPECIALLY when you have a shared bank account.
I have a practiced response I use when I have spent too much money on something and a much wiser person than I tells me “Your missus is going to kill you” or “What are you going to do when your missus finds out?”.
My manly response is this – “I am in charge and I’ll tell her when she can give me permission to buy something”.
Now let that phrase sink in and you will see the gentle play on words here because unless you are in the minority of men who are money savvy, you will inevitably end up having the dreaded “discussion” about money and how it should be spent on essential household things like bath salts, pillows and a strangely uncomfortable amount of makeup sponges.
So what I am saying here folks is, a good deal is a good thing but too much of a good thing can be bad….so….be good, okay?
So I am going to wrap this up for now but I have to tell you, I am really happy to back here with the guys and gals at honestgamesreviews.com and I hope you all look forward to our witty banter, complete nerdgasms over some of the upcoming titles getting released this year and I look forward to helping you improve my K/D ratio.
Until next time ladies and gentlemen – Keep it fun, keep it fair and keep it honest.